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I write things

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livin' the dream, photo of family on the beach

Livin the Dream (But Whose Dream Is It?)

Dreaming is a topic we reserve for Kindergarten and elementary school. I move we upgrade this topic to an adult one because we’re making a royal mess of it lately. We’ve confused dreams with escapism and naivety. And we’ve normalized pedestaling the dreams of those who came before us over our own, resulting in outcomes (…)

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The False Dichotemy of Work and Fun

Netflix has an autoplay feature that is both helpful and deeply annoying if you just want the TV on in the background and aren’t looking for a trailer of whatever you left your remote pointing at. I had just turned on Netflix when it recommended a series about Work to which I thought hmmm. I (…)

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What I Would Like For Mother’s Day

About eight years ago I had the privilege of being at a conference that was mostly a waste of time, until the last day when I found myself at a round-table with Patron Saint of Relationship Wisdom,  Dr. Esther Perel.  I couldn’t tell you what  someone like Esther  was doing at this godforsaken conference, but I’m thrilled (…)

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The Invention of The “Hysterical” Woman

I’m reading a fantastic book you need to add to your list called, Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. It’s about abuse. I know, light reading for your morning, but stay with me. I’d heard it recommended before but didn’t think it was relevant to my life. I was wrong. Something I learned (…)

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The Media’s Integrity Problem

Last week, I shared that I had experienced an unexpected and very sudden divorce. What I didn’t share was thanks to the very public nature of my ex-husband’s job, I had a front-row seat to the vitriolic and unethical world of politics and media – and the absolutely corrupt and coordinated relationship between them. I (…)

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The Subversive Power of Knowing Your Own Mind

I recently was thrust unexpectedly and unwillingly back into the world of dating. As someone curious about human psychology, it’s been a fascinating gift of content and anthropologic insight. But as a human being with thoughts, feelings, needs, and wants – especially one conditioned as a cishet female – it is horrible. The actual dating (…)

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The Physics of Psychology

Today, we know that using a seatbelt prevents death, washing your hands prevents spreading disease and infection, and wearing a helmet prevents concussions. If someone you know bragged about never washing their hands, you would look at them with concern. And, yet, this is precisely what we do with psychology. We boast about never needing (…)

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Why We Don’t Tell People About Our Dreams

My first job after college was as a research assistant in a psychiatric research clinic. Part of my job was to conduct assessments of potential participants in our studies on major depression and anxiety. In psychiatry and psychology, since we lack reliable biometrics (for now), we’re reliant on self-report to get an assessment of your (…)

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On Failing Spectacularly and Why You Should

Last week I asked the Brainstorm Road waitlist about their dreams. Namely, why they don’t share them: What prevents you from sharing more (in public) about work that lights you up? I hypothesized the answers would be about belonging and rejection. How you don’t want to be mocked for your idea or you feel silly. (…)

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A Plea

Today I write with a plea. Don’t quit. I’m watching so many people around me turn to stone. They quit. They quit trying, chasing, wanting. They quit caring. Life has, understandably, taken them down. Life will always do its best to erode your soul and often it succeeds. I worry about people like us who (…)

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