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I write things

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Clear is Kind: Why You Should Endure The Discomfort of Being Direct

There is no such thing as a friendly reminder. “Friendly reminders” are passive-aggressive roundabout ways of avoiding direct communication and clarifying your position. There are fascinating reasons why we do this, which Dr. Harriett Lerner, Patron Saint Of All Things Anger, talks about in detail here. The gist is that many of us avoid conflict (…)

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Decent Human Beings

Out of nowhere, I heard a crash. Two books came tumbling down from the bookshelf. I have no idea how. Nothing moved, no one touched them, there wasn’t an earthquake. I was on the other side of the room. Everyone knows that if books are gonna fall from the sky  (err— my bookshelf) you must open (…)

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In Defense of Working Hard

The internet exploded over the following line from Roxane Gay’s New York Times piece this week and I’m not sure I agree with the chord it’s striking in people: “The greatest shame would be to reach the end of our lives and have the epitaph read, ‘They worked really hard.’” I am aware Gay is arguing (…)

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Take Care of Your Self

Self-help is a notoriously garbage category, so I wanted to share some of the books I have on my “approved” list as we enter into gifting season. These books are rooted in strong data and credible expertise, without being so heavy and academic that they are unintelligible.  If you are looking for information on psychology (…)

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Shutting Down The Food Company I Never Started

The Ginger Route was going to be a clean food company. Then it was going to be a blog. No, sorry, a platform! Ginger Route had many iterations all of which live in perpetuity in a notebook somewhere in my office. I worked on that “business” for longer than I care to admit here in public. It’s (…)

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The Privilege of Dreaming

About 90 years ago, my great-grandfather brought my great-grandmother from a small farm town to The Big City.  And then he promptly left.  Started a new family with another woman.  And was never heard from again. My grandmother was eight-years-old. I don’t know if my great-grandmother had dreams beyond getting herself out of a terrible (…)

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But What If It Works?

Few things are more effective at eradicating a bad mood than a good movie involving unrealistically beautiful people. So when I found myself in a bad mood a few months ago, I chose on a title with Chris Hemsworth and Cillian Murphy and proceeded to get cozy with what I thought would be 122 minutes (…)

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Can You “Make” Someone Feel Something?

One of the core principles of Stoicism is accepting responsibility. Accepting responsibility for how you feel, what you did, and what happened. “Blame yourself or blame no one.” – Mr. Marcus Aurelius is famous for having said. As someone who over-indexes on self-blame, I have a bone to pick with Mr. Aurelius on this one. (…)

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Times Are Heavy But We Need Not Be

We called my grandmother Mimi. Mimi used to say she’d need a nap after talking to me because I talked too fast and the topics were heavy. I’m comfortable in heavy. It’s my happy place because I have lots of questions and I can’t find answers in the superficial stuff. Yes, sure, the weather is (…)

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Rich, Powerful, and Empty

Tommy. F&^#king. Shelby. (You have to read that in a Birmingham British accent: Foooohhhk-ing) Tommy Foooohhhk-ing Shelby is the protagonist of Netflix’s best series of all time: Peaky Blinders. I’ve watched the entire six seasons from start to finish many times (#protip use captions) and each time my love/hate for this man grows. He is (…)

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