Writing
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Party in the U.S.A.
As a self-proclaimed glutton for attention, there are few things more enticing than participating in a parade. Born for the spotlight but not given any discernible talent, I jump at any opportunity to be in front of an audience. ESPECIALLY if it involves outfits and a theme. So when my cousins were like, “Get in (…)
anonymity
It’s a weird thing to start dating again as an adult. I knew how to date as a teenager and twentysomething, but as an Established Person, it feels a bit like going backwards. Meeting someone you have to shave your legs for feels like something you do in high school. Adults go on obligatory couples’ (…)
Back to the Barre
In dance, they have a saying: “Back to the barre.” It means back to basics. Get your form right. Stand at the barre and work on your technique: plié, Tendu, relevé, Dégagé. First principles. The music people tell me this is called, “practicing your scales.” I’ve tried to figure out what the “barre” and “scales” (…)
A Better Path Forward
I get uneasy when someone asks me if I’ll help their friend who wants to get into marketing. I want to help. But the help I can offer isn’t the help they seek. Wanting to land an agency job is different from marketing. I’ve done both and I can tell you that what agency folks (…)
Get Back on Stage
One of the reasons I leapt offline and away from the public eye was that I was glitching. My brain had this trapdoor in it that, when opened, would take me out of the present moment and into another place and time. It’s like a rip would happen and I’d find myself in 2022 or (…)
The Case for Maybe Nothing
I doubt anyone believes that the most pressing issues facing the nation include an insufficient understanding of the origins of the universe. That’s not my quote. That’s House Representative Sherwood Boehlert (R-NY) speaking to congress in 1993 about the Superconducting Super Collider the United States was building in Texas. He, along with a chorus of (…)
On Waiting for Your Real Life to Start
I made the mistake of telling Margaret about my dating life. Margaret is a professor which is not at all relevant to this story; I just think it’s cool. She has earrings that are anatomically correct seggsual organs disguised as fancy jewelry, and whenever people compliment her she gives them a lecture on anatomy. I (…)
Live to Die Another Day
Colin Jost has a memoir I haven’t read, but I laugh every time I see the title: “A Very Punchable Face: A Memoir.” There are few people I want to punch in the face more than those who bright-side things. Jost isn’t one of those people (I don’t think…I don’t know him), but his book (…)
Please be seated.
I went to get a flu shot and signed up online to schedule it because I’m a millennial and no I will not “just show up.” The online system asked if I wanted to be on the Texas Immunization Registry and something in my bones felt a familiar wave of “AHH sheeet.” I’ve never been (…)









