philosophy
Apology Demands Admission (My Annual Yom Kippur Sermon)
Yom Kippur is coming up which means it’s time for my annual sermon on forgiveness. This year I’m going to tell you a less-known fact about the tradition and assert something that appears on the surface sacrilegious but hear me out. You do not have to forgive. The commandment is to ask for forgiveness. Not (…)
The Subtle Transmission of Dangerous Ideas
We were all sitting around the living room trying to ignore the chaos of children around us and have a decent conversation when someone made the trying-to-be-funny comment about how their son should marry that person’s daughter so they could be in-laws. “Or son,” I said. “What?” the father said back to me. “He could (…)
Talking is Dangerous Which is Why You Should Do It
“What are you STUPID?!” I watched a grown man scream at his daughter. “She’s $%#@(* stupid, You know better! What are you doing???” I don’t remember much of the scene except to tell you that we were at a lake, visiting friends and the scene happened on the dock. I recall the mother pretending like (…)
Saved
You can’t save people who don’t want to be saved. You can pull them out of a bathtub, but you can’t *make* them want to live. To love someone is to let them sit in their own consequences. To risk losing them if they want to be lost.
Light and Fluffy
I had a serious piece queued up for today about how you can’t save people who don’t want to be saved, but I’m in the mood for something lighter. Things in my world are heavy. Hope takes effort. I’m told this is a symptom of trauma, not depression. Depression displays anhedonia, which is the absence of pleasure (…)
Why Doing Creative Work Will Save Your Life
Creativity is not in conflict with what is essential to survive. It is vital to survival. Yes, Kyle, I know it’s not bread. It is soul sustenance. In my life, I’ve watched many people I love commit soul suicide in the name of preservation. I’m not convinced it’s worth it. Suffering is inevitable in life. To suffer gratuitously (…)
Livin the Dream (But Whose Dream Is It?)
Dreaming is a topic we reserve for Kindergarten and elementary school. I move we upgrade this topic to an adult one because we’re making a royal mess of it lately. We’ve confused dreams with escapism and naivety. And we’ve normalized pedestaling the dreams of those who came before us over our own, resulting in outcomes (…)
What I Would Like For Mother’s Day
About eight years ago I had the privilege of being at a conference that was mostly a waste of time, until the last day when I found myself at a round-table with Patron Saint of Relationship Wisdom, Dr. Esther Perel. I couldn’t tell you what someone like Esther was doing at this godforsaken conference, but I’m thrilled (…)