Psychology
On The Privilege of Hiding
There are a few places outside of Texas or California where I will agree to eat tacos. Born and raised in Texas, I am a taco snob; so when a new taco joint opened in Jersey City about 10 or so years ago, I agreed to go reluctantly. There were maybe seven of us at dinner (…)
Exist
One of the things you grow up thinking about when you are the granddaughter of Holocaust survivors is, “What would I have done?” Who would I be? There are things that get discussed fairly openly that you don’t realize are odd until you are exposed to “non-Holocaust” families. Like: How many languages can you speak? (…)
Too Tired
It’s rare that I find myself at a loss of words. But for the past week, I have been frozen. Silent on social media. Silent here with you. Loud in my own personal circles, but frozen inside. After I dropped my daughter off at school this week, I laid on the floor and just felt (…)
Apology Demands Admission (My Annual Yom Kippur Sermon)
Yom Kippur is coming up which means it’s time for my annual sermon on forgiveness. This year I’m going to tell you a less-known fact about the tradition and assert something that appears on the surface sacrilegious but hear me out. You do not have to forgive. The commandment is to ask for forgiveness. Not (…)
What Arguments Are Worth Your Time
In response to the story I shared last week, many of you disparaged yourselves for not having the courage to say what I said. I realized I didn’t add an important distinction: That wasn’t courage. I rarely speak up when adults say inane and cruel things anymore. Not because I don’t want to, but because (…)
What Lies Underneath Worry
It hasn’t happened recently, but occasionally, I will publish a piece that evokes an: Are you ok? Should I be worried? First of all, yes, you should be worried about me as I am worried about you and the state of the world all day every day. It’s part of having been born Jewish. My (…)
Talking is Dangerous Which is Why You Should Do It
“What are you STUPID?!” I watched a grown man scream at his daughter. “She’s $%#@(* stupid, You know better! What are you doing???” I don’t remember much of the scene except to tell you that we were at a lake, visiting friends and the scene happened on the dock. I recall the mother pretending like (…)
Saved
You can’t save people who don’t want to be saved. You can pull them out of a bathtub, but you can’t *make* them want to live. To love someone is to let them sit in their own consequences. To risk losing them if they want to be lost.