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Psychological Honesty: The Road To Self-Actualization
“But what do you WANT to write about?” I asked him again. He couldn’t answer. He said he wanted to write a book. But he was lying. Every answer was a well-thought-out formula. An idea that could be. A template. An approach. He was a strong writer in that he was great with words. He (…)
Good Guys and Bad Guys
There are no good guys and bad guys. We’ll start with the punchline. I’ve tried really hard to divide the world into them. It would be easier if people were all good or all bad. EVIL VS VIRTUE. CRUEL VS KIND. LOVE VS HATE. JUSTICE VS INJUSTICE. None of these dichotomies are real. Often cruelty comes from (…)
Can We Make Meaningful Converstion The Norm?
How was vacation? How was the movie? How is the new place? How was dinner? How was the date? How’s work? How’d it go? We don’t give real answers to these questions. We give dismissals: “It was fine. It was great. Oh, we had a blast!” “It was interesting, different, very unique.” The question I (…)
Why is This Fun? And Other Important Life Questions You Should Ask Yourself Regularly
There’s a cowboy culture in Texas that consists of games where you prove your worth through machismo. They call this a “rodeo,” but really it is men competing with men for who is dumber. They prove dominance over animals and battle for “strength” with games like “how long can you stay on top of a (…)
Why Open AI ChatGPT Will Not Ruin Writing, But We Will
This is my least favorite topic at the moment because, well, outrage is profoundly boring to me. But enough people have asked me to comment on ChatGPT so here we are. Am I worried about it. What are my thoughts. What will happen to writing and writers and original thought! I’ll start with the punchline: (…)
Clear is Kind: Why You Should Endure The Discomfort of Being Direct
There is no such thing as a friendly reminder. “Friendly reminders” are passive-aggressive roundabout ways of avoiding direct communication and clarifying your position. There are fascinating reasons why we do this, which Dr. Harriett Lerner, Patron Saint Of All Things Anger, talks about in detail here. The gist is that many of us avoid conflict (…)
Decent Human Beings
Out of nowhere, I heard a crash. Two books came tumbling down from the bookshelf. I have no idea how. Nothing moved, no one touched them, there wasn’t an earthquake. I was on the other side of the room. Everyone knows that if books are gonna fall from the sky (err— my bookshelf) you must open (…)
In Defense of Working Hard
The internet exploded over the following line from Roxane Gay’s New York Times piece this week and I’m not sure I agree with the chord it’s striking in people: “The greatest shame would be to reach the end of our lives and have the epitaph read, ‘They worked really hard.’” I am aware Gay is arguing (…)
Take Care of Your Self
Self-help is a notoriously garbage category, so I wanted to share some of the books I have on my “approved” list as we enter into gifting season. These books are rooted in strong data and credible expertise, without being so heavy and academic that they are unintelligible. If you are looking for information on psychology (…)
Shutting Down The Food Company I Never Started
The Ginger Route was going to be a clean food company. Then it was going to be a blog. No, sorry, a platform! Ginger Route had many iterations all of which live in perpetuity in a notebook somewhere in my office. I worked on that “business” for longer than I care to admit here in public. It’s (…)