Behavior Change
Too Tired
It’s rare that I find myself at a loss of words. But for the past week, I have been frozen. Silent on social media. Silent here with you. Loud in my own personal circles, but frozen inside. After I dropped my daughter off at school this week, I laid on the floor and just felt (…)
Apology Demands Admission (My Annual Yom Kippur Sermon)
Yom Kippur is coming up which means it’s time for my annual sermon on forgiveness. This year I’m going to tell you a less-known fact about the tradition and assert something that appears on the surface sacrilegious but hear me out. You do not have to forgive. The commandment is to ask for forgiveness. Not (…)
What Arguments Are Worth Your Time
In response to the story I shared last week, many of you disparaged yourselves for not having the courage to say what I said. I realized I didn’t add an important distinction: That wasn’t courage. I rarely speak up when adults say inane and cruel things anymore. Not because I don’t want to, but because (…)
What Lies Underneath Worry
It hasn’t happened recently, but occasionally, I will publish a piece that evokes an: Are you ok? Should I be worried? First of all, yes, you should be worried about me as I am worried about you and the state of the world all day every day. It’s part of having been born Jewish. My (…)
Saved
You can’t save people who don’t want to be saved. You can pull them out of a bathtub, but you can’t *make* them want to live. To love someone is to let them sit in their own consequences. To risk losing them if they want to be lost.
Light and Fluffy
I had a serious piece queued up for today about how you can’t save people who don’t want to be saved, but I’m in the mood for something lighter. Things in my world are heavy. Hope takes effort. I’m told this is a symptom of trauma, not depression. Depression displays anhedonia, which is the absence of pleasure (…)
The Courage it Takes to Be Happy
Lately, I’ve been mulling over the courage it takes to be happy. Not the Instagram performance “happy.” Truly, sincerely, happy. There is significant research on happiness (Dr. Santo’s lab, The Happiness Research Institute, Dr. Ed’s Stuff, Shawn Anchor who is meh, Google Scholar pieces here, it’s ENDLESS). We know empirically that joy > happiness (one (…)
Meaningful Text Series: The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
If there is one psychologist whose work has influenced my life more than anyone, it’s Dr. Harriet Lerner. And Dr. Ramani. And Dr. Eger. And Dr. Judith Herman. Ok, there are many. But if you don’t know who Dr. Lerner is, this podcast is a good place to start. Dr. Lerner’s book The Dance of Anger (terrible title, wonderful book) quite literally blew (…)