philosophy
Saved
You can’t save people who don’t want to be saved. You can pull them out of a bathtub, but you can’t *make* them want to live. To love someone is to let them sit in their own consequences. To risk losing them if they want to be lost.
Light and Fluffy
I had a serious piece queued up for today about how you can’t save people who don’t want to be saved, but I’m in the mood for something lighter. Things in my world are heavy. Hope takes effort. I’m told this is a symptom of trauma, not depression. Depression displays anhedonia, which is the absence of pleasure (…)
Why Doing Creative Work Will Save Your Life
Creativity is not in conflict with what is essential to survive. It is vital to survival. Yes, Kyle, I know it’s not bread. It is soul sustenance. In my life, I’ve watched many people I love commit soul suicide in the name of preservation. I’m not convinced it’s worth it. Suffering is inevitable in life. To suffer gratuitously (…)
Livin the Dream (But Whose Dream Is It?)
Dreaming is a topic we reserve for Kindergarten and elementary school. I move we upgrade this topic to an adult one because we’re making a royal mess of it lately. We’ve confused dreams with escapism and naivety. And we’ve normalized pedestaling the dreams of those who came before us over our own, resulting in outcomes (…)
What I Would Like For Mother’s Day
About eight years ago I had the privilege of being at a conference that was mostly a waste of time, until the last day when I found myself at a round-table with Patron Saint of Relationship Wisdom, Dr. Esther Perel. I couldn’t tell you what someone like Esther was doing at this godforsaken conference, but I’m thrilled (…)
The Invention of The “Hysterical” Woman
I’m reading a fantastic book you need to add to your list called, Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. It’s about abuse. I know, light reading for your morning, but stay with me. I’d heard it recommended before but didn’t think it was relevant to my life. I was wrong. Something I learned (…)
A Plea
Today I write with a plea. Don’t quit. I’m watching so many people around me turn to stone. They quit. They quit trying, chasing, wanting. They quit caring. Life has, understandably, taken them down. Life will always do its best to erode your soul and often it succeeds. I worry about people like us who (…)
Meaningful Texts: Uses of The Erotic by Audre Lorde
It is possible that all the answers to life’s questions are in one book: The Selected Works of Audre Lorde . If you’re unfamiliar with Lorde’s work, strap in because no one is more deliberate with words, discerning with ideas, and more cutthroat when it comes to truth-telling than Lorde. To read her is to see (…)