Have you ever been in a conversation where you couldn’t stop talking?
That was me at a party a few weeks ago. Like this:
I could not shut up.
I finally apologized to the guy I was talking to, I felt so bad.
“Sorry for verbal vomiting on you.”
“That’s by design,” he said.
Turns out he’d learned that if you want people to like you, you should ask them about themselves. And I was his guinea pig.
He was literally feeding me questions to get me talking about myself.
And it worked.
We’ve all heard that advice that people love to talk about themselves (plus, duh, the halo effect: people judge you more positively when you show an interest in them).
So…why are we SO bad at this online?
- “Check out my latest post on blahblahblah!”
- “We updated our website! Check it out!”
- “We’re SO excited to tell you about this update!”
- “Guys, it’s here! I have a new logo!”
First, don’t make me lecture you on the Overly Chipper Effect again. The faux enthusiasm doesn’t convert and you don’t like doing it either.
Second, if we know people only care about themselves, why do we insist on talking about ourselves…and then wonder why our marketing didn’t work?
Dale Carnegie said, “The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.”
mmmhmmm. Listen to the man.
No one cares about what you want. They care about what they want
If your stuff isn’t connecting (or converting), it’s likely because your stuff is focused on you and not them.
Link what you have to say to why they should care and they’ll start listening.
Test it and get back to me.
– Margo who needs to work on talking less…in general…